Slippery Situations
by Himedere Sugar
Summary: Twenty sentences dedicated to Libra's hot-headed Kagutsuchi Master and his sensible junior partner.


_#1 – Pixie_  
"Call me a 'fairy' one more fucking time, old man, and I'll blast your ass into the seventh circle of Hell!" roars Zapp as he shakes the drunk man by the collar; Zed is both shocked and elated that his senior took offense to being called out on his homosexual relationship rather than denying he was in one altogether.

 _#2 – Cube_  
Zapp groans and drops his puzzle cube to the floor…then he glances beside him and sees that Zed has already solved his, much to his chagrin.

 _#3 – Robot_  
"You have about as much emotion as a fucking robot sometimes," mutters Zapp after they pull apart from a messy kiss, "so lighten up more, fishy. You'd uh…be cuter that way…"

 _#4 – Sword_  
Zed can't take on three Blood Breed at once, and the moment his trident misses the mark, he knows it's game over; he's out of energy and his blood wanes thin, and then an enormous sword pierces the Blood Breed behind him with Zapp crashing into the fray grinning like an idiot.

 _#5 – Pen_  
"A caged match against an army of Beyondian bulls was the last thing I thought I'd spend my day off doing," relents Zed with his trident drawn and his back to Zapp's, "but I am thankful I'm not alone. Should we just count this as today's sparring session?"

 _#6 – Rock_  
A sizable hunk of drywall conks Zapp on the head and knocks him to the floor; Zed simply stands over him and mutters as his senior staggers to his feet again, "It's a good thing you're so hard-headed."

 _#7 – Country_  
When Zapp tries to imagine his fishy's hometown or country, he sees something primitive and straight out of _20,000 Leagues Under the Sea_ ; Zed flicks him in the head and corrects him, saying, "Haven't you seen _The Little Mermaid_?"

 _#8 – Bunny_  
Zapp's snowy hair is very soft to the touch, and when the idiot is passed out drunk on the sofa, Zed climbs out of his tank to sit and run his webbed fingers through it.

 _#9 – Sweets_  
Zed grabs his senior by the face and forces his tongue into Zapp's mouth, and what the fuck, Zapp swears he tastes caramel on the fish; they separate and Zed admits shyly, "You looked like you needed a little sweetening."

 _#10 – Wine_  
"He only hates wine because it's too refined for his crude taste buds," says Zed nonchalantly, ignoring Zapp's mouth-gaping stare, "and there's no wonder as to why that is because all he does is eat greasy fast food."

 _#11 – Chip_  
There's always a chip on Zapp's shoulder about something, but Zed eventually learns that it's his unrequited affection for him that puts him in such a mood.

 _#12 – Claw_  
Nothing feels greater than tiny claws scraping against your prostate, Zapp thinks with a moan.

 _#13 – Light_  
"You ain't exactly lightweight," grumbles Zapp while he throws his arm over Zed's shoulders and supports his injured partner while he walks, "so it's a good thing I don't have to piggyback your ass."

 _#14 – Soar_  
Zed's heart soars through the roof when Zapp leans over and plants a firm kiss near his mouth, whispering 'I love ya. Happy now?'

 _#15 – Hello_  
Zapp chuckles when he's asked to wake Zed for more field work; he strolls up to the tank and bangs on the glass, waving to the startled merman and chirping, "Time to wake up, sunshine!"

 _#16 – Goodbye_  
When Master Raju returns in hopes of taking Zed with him again, Zapp speaks up, "You can't take him! He's part of Libra, and…he's my disciple, isn't he? I'm the one training him now, so he has to stay!"

 _#17 – Cover_  
"What the hell are you doing out here?! You'll freeze your fishy ass off!" Zapp groans and removes his long coat, draping it over Zed's shoulders instead.

 _#18 – Elastic_  
Zapp's hair is just long enough, Zed decides, and he pranks the bastard right back; Zapp wakes from his nap with pink elastics tying his hair into two tiny pigtails and Leo chuckling in front of him with his camera out.

 _#19 – Chain_  
Zed is more than happy to serve as the chain that grounds his senior as far as responsibilities and reality are concerned.

 _#20 – Fairytale_  
Relief overwhelms Zed as his senior finally responds to mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, coughing and hacking; Zapp stares up at his partner, bleary-eyed, and murmurs something about 'mermaid' and 'aren't you supposed to be singing to me or some shit?'


End file.
